No one ever promised me that fundraising was going to be easy but they did say it was necessary. Well, that is until I become a millionaire...then I'm done. Asking for money is not for the weak at heart. The past few days have created a few anxious moments but any bone of reservation that may have entered my body was continuously replaced with the bone of motivation to ensure that one more scholarship is raised.
However, one of my most anxious moments arose as I created my YouTube video to accompany this campaign. The issue was not the technology (although it would be great to have some more fancy features...wink wink to any techies out there). I created the video and loaded it up on YouTube no problem but hitting the Publish button created sheer PANIC in my soul.
The real issue was realizing that I am about to place my face on full blast for criticism and praise without my consent. Even us do-gooders have a bit of vanity. Aside from creating a new consciousness of beauty marks on my face, it created a very real sense of just how NOT private the internet is and just how available YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE can be to the world even those 1.6 billion other folks you will never meet.
After strongly debating removing myself from every form of social media I had ever attached myself too (yes, even that hot pink myspace page whose password I cant find but I know is still lingering), I came to two solid realizations.
1) I need to get over myself just a bit: I'm not that popular ... yet. So anyone watching my 4 minutes of begging is probably a friend or potential donor. So I can breathe a bit more calmly:)
2) This is the double edged sword of social media. We need it for branding and massive spreading of information but once its out there we have no control over it and how its interpreted.
The reality is that my PANIC was not without warrant (ok maybe the 5 minutes of hyperventilating in my hot pink fleece blanket was a little dramatic...but I digress). It's a reality of living in this digital age. Just about everything you say can be tracked. But thankfully all I'm saying is #onefor40 on repeat. But alas, YouTube was nearly the death of me but ended up giving me a reality check on the age of media that I've come to love in as a college student but fear as a budding young professional with accountability.
So thankfully this blog allows me to address these moments of PANIC and continue to push towards the goal of raising $40k by March 23...even if having my video all over youtube makes me a little nauseous.
Keep Swimming.
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